How to just take the meds??! (TW marked inside)

I'll jump right in.

Currently, I have no insurance and don't take any medications. The thing is, even when I DO have insurance and have all of my many prescriptions, I find myself too paranoid to take them. I have always been wary of any medicine, even Tylenol x_x

Because I went undiagnosed and untreated for so long I sort of developed methods of "dealing with myself", some of which are good, some not so much, and I'll convince myself that I can fix whatever is wrong and that I don't need any professionals. I'm just barely getting by.

Has anyone had any experience with this? I find myself so resistant to take my prescriptions. TW!!!! I find myself hoarding them in case I ever need to overdose, which I have done a handful of times. I don't have anyone around to PUSH me to take them, so does anyone have any strategies on to push oneself?