TIFU by taking a trip to the porcelain throne.

So, this morning I started feeling sick and everything took a shitty turn from there.

My whole family has gotten some kind of flu over the last couple days, and this morning the sickness decided it was my turn. For the entirety of the morning I felt consistently nauseous, and it increased in severity as the day went on. The thought came to my head that a shower might feel really nice, so I hopped in. It was fantastic. That is, until I got out.

I stepped out of the hot water and started towelling myself off. This is when a ringing began in my ears, which grew increasingly louder, my nausea multiplying tenfold. I realized I was about to toss a sidewalk pizza, so I knelt down in front of my toilet. I held my head above the bowl, preparing for the wurst(mmm, breakfast burritos).

Suddenly my face was a lot closer to the toilet water than I remembered, so I braced my hands on each side of the porcelain. I sharply pulled my head back, noticing that my forehead was slightly sore and that water was quietly running over my face, dripping off of my chin and nose.

I had passed out for a split second, my face dropping directly into the toilet that hadn't been cleaned for a few days.

I gagged, swiftly moving to the sink to wash my face with soap and hot water for a few minutes. Afterwards, I dried myself off and walked back to my room to lie down in the dark and silently browse Reddit for an hour, contemplating what my face had likely come into contact with.

I didn't even throw up. What a rip-off.

TL;DR

I took my face to a not-so-pearly white stadium that the Browns frequent.