Trapped in the country, suck at small talk, battling low self-esteem from childhood.

Hey Reddit strangers, 23 year old guy that's lived with his retired parents his whole life as an only child. Graduated from college on the Dean's List in 2014. Looking for work with an employment councilor and have gotten some action in the last few weeks. Stuck in a rural area, 20 minutes drive from a few mid-sized cities. Father's family were farmers, my mother likes the quiet. I hate bugs and outdoor stuff is not really physically possible for me. Been so bored ever since I finished school. I have online friends through fan sites but they're all in different countries. I get out of the house regularly, but just to shop and do errands with my mother.

Recently took a personality test and found out I'm the rarest of the 16 types, an INFJ. Its really bang on, very private person hard to open up but the people I do care for, the bond I have is beyond words. Feel misunderstood by others a lot. https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

I have cerebral palsy in my legs. I can walk independently and use stairs with a railing, but its instantly noticeable to all who see me. I was a quiet kid and knew my legs were different but I didn't realize what that meant until age 12 when I was forced to use a Walker at school. The reason I got at the time is it would help me navigate crowded hallways safely and the basket would help me carry my books. It cleared a path, but also cleared everyone my own age away from me. I think we know what happens to kids who are different. For 6 and a half years (I took an extra semester of high school to stall for time before college) I literally carried around a reminder of how ugly I was. It's taken me a long time to try and get my self-esteem back and I have hopes of a relationship now, but I also don't know how to build basic friendships first. I still feel like I'm that ugly Walker Freak when approaching strangers. I mumble, stutter or talk too fast when I'm nervous making it worse. Didn't know how to make connections in college, most of the people were older then me and had their lives way more together, a number of single moms. I didn't really fit in even with the Walker gone.

As a kid I only had 1 friend a girl. We had a falling out when I was 12 but started speaking again in the last year of high school. We dated for a few months in late 2014, it was the happiest I've been in a long time. She ended it but due to her own feelings of not being ready and OCD issues, she hated hurting me. I was hurt pretty bad but don't hate her and am past wanting her back. But I don't know how to meet knew guys or girls for even basic platonic stuff.

Because of the leg CP I can't use the brake and gas pedals. I'd need hand controls in a car. March-May 2015 I tried to get them at a driver rehab. After 10 lessons and $1800.00 of inheritance money from my grandmother, they failed me.

I've fought with the government for over 8 months to try and get a 2nd chance driver rehab place to test me for hand controls and finally got in. It's expensive as hell again but I can afford it. Had one lesson that went well, another one this Tuesday.

There is progress, but I don't know how to make conversation well. After the usual pleasantries I can't think of anything else to say. Even if I got a phone number, what do I text someone about? My hobbies are either solo or online stuff. (Reading, analyzing and debating the meaning of television). Hate sports, can't draw or play any instruments.

I'm also embarrassed about relying on parents to pick me up and drop me off places and that I live with them. I holds me back from going places or even inviting people up. I have a few Facebook friends from college and high school but I don't know how to get a dialogue going and I always think they'll not want to come up to this rural area just to drive me somewhere. And its hard for me to trust people after feeling horrible about myself for so long. If someone likes me I think they either are just being nice out of leg pity or they want to use me for money or something.

Anyone have any hobbies or places I could go to meet people? How do I make conversation? Get over my own mental blocks to getting to know & trust someone?

TL;DR Dependent on parents to go places, embarrassed about that and my leg disability, don't know how to talk to or trust strangers. No idea even where to meet people. Need advice to get out of this shell.