To Reezy

It's been a little over a month since we first started talking. It's insane how quickly we fell for each other, and it was explosive. It was so exciting, but then we fell in love. Fate was so cruel to us. I can't believe we never actually met in person, but I still consider myself insanely lucky to even have gotten to know you. You cared for me like no one else has before, and this was the first time I felt genuine love for anyone. It wasn't just romantic love, it was everything. We would have been so amazing together. Everything about us clicked, and we just had fun. You were never mean or selfish or anything bad to me. It breaks my heart whenever you were confused as to why I liked you so much. You didn't see yourself as anything significant, but you were everything to me. You still are. I know it's unfair to both of us to keep talking, and that's why we called it quits. I miss you so much. My heart skips a beat whenever I think about actually being with you, but I know it'll never happen, at least in the near future. We would have been so great together. I just wish we would have had a real chance together, one where you're not all the way over there and I'm not all the way over here. I could feel you pulling away from me because I was doing the same. We both slowly realized it wasn't working because of the distance. I remember when you told me that I was one of the best things that's ever happened to you. We used to talk about running away together, and I still fantasize about that happening. You told me you were looking for a bit of magic in your life and that you never expected to find that in me. You told me you wished that we had spent Valentine's Day together just curled up in your bed and doing nothing. Instead you spent it alone and I spent it getting high and drunk with someone I wasn't even interested in. I wish to God that I would have been able to spend it with you. I miss you so much. I know it'd be incredibly selfish of me to start talking to you again because we'd both just get hurt. I just want you back. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know you probably won't ever read this, but dear God, I hope you do. The last thing you ever said to me was, "Good luck with everything, I know you won't need it." The only thing I wish I had was you. I wish I could have had the chance to love you like you deserve because you certainly loved me like I deserve. You said we probably wouldn't have started talking to each other under any other circumstance, and I think it's amazing that it worked out just right that we got to know each other. It just wasn't right enough. The best part was that we agreed on the things that mattered but we were still different enough that you showed me so many new and fascinating things. I remember when I was drunk and told you that I'd marry you, and you told me you could see yourself marrying me. I used to think it was crazy that people would get married so soon after meeting each other, but I understand it now. Thank you for giving me the best month of my life. Thank you for showing me what I deserve and what I'm looking for. I miss you so much.