It's my birthday tomorrow.

I'm turning twenty years old tomorrow and everything in my life has been fine so far. Good financial status, a solid circle of friends and decent physical shape from four years in the gym, even success with women despite massive porn use since age ten. I was seeing someone for a while in early January and we had sex, it being my first time. Things went fine but I discovered I have erectile dysfunction.

Shortly after we stopped seeing each other, I entered a downward spiral of porn and masturbating. I think that the erectile dysfunction sent me on this downward spiral. I've tried everything. Blocking websites, leaving motivational images around my room, working out twice as much as before, wearing gloves when using the computer, installing a panic button, even keeping a detailed spreadsheet keeping track of every time I orgasm with or without porn. My appetite for meaningful relationships has completely gone out the window.

I've had enough. If I spend my time outside of my flat the urges are gone but I can't be out of the building 24/7. Today is my turning point. My porn stash on my external hard drive is toast, and I'll be damned if I'm turning back after this. I'm going to post here at least once a day for a while. My friends don't understand what an affliction this is. I've got to be held accountable somewhere.