Why do I know my problems but can't seem to fix them.

I consider myself a poly substance abuser. I also consider myself extremely self aware of my problems, addiction wise and mentally (anxiety etc).

I curbed my drinking problem which was my first addiction, then became a pot head, then a pill fiend, then I put anything in my body for fun. Was a step away from IV use when I decided to go sober. I did it for 9 months but this was replaced with smoking/gambling.

My question is, I KNOW the financial damages im doing to myself, yet I keep digging this hole bigger and bigger. Suicidal thoughts have been increasing and I feel a bit lost.

This isn't a sympathy call, I know what I do and I choose to do these things. I just don't understand myself.