John, why?

I got the call about 7 tonight, a good friend of mine was told by his younger sister that the police had found him earlier that day, he fell off the face of the earth a few days ago, took his phone and a shotgun into the woods, and that's where my friend would find his end. I have passed my point of sorrow, and now I am just angry at him, he was the nicest guy you'd ever meet, he would always make sure the rest of us were set before having fun himself, this all feels like some elaborate joke, with him waiting behind the door to pop out and make me look like a fool. I'm not asking for sympathy, I just can't understand how he could be so selfish. Why he got to take the quick route out, and more importantly, why he didn't approach me, I wish I could have been there, if nothing more than to just see him one last time. He was 19.

You were a brother to me, and you will be missed Feb 21, 2016