Betrayal kills more than just trust

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel empty, completely empty. It's like there's nothing. No will, no drive, no satisfaction, and nothing to lose, nothing to gain. I'm just here... Everyday is the same. I'm just now realizing this isn't normal. This isn't the way I want to be, but I can't find it in me to change even though I want to. It's always tomorrow. Tomorrow, I won't sleep all day. Tomorrow I will be productive. Tomorrow I won't be a worthless lump on my couch. But when tomorrow comes I don't change. I don't even try. Instead I tell myself again and again, that tomorrow will be the day that I finally start living. I love my husband and my daughter more than anything, and I feel I am letting them down. I don't know how much more my husband can take of me. I see the disappointment in his eyes everyday and I know he wants something more. Sometimes I wonder who he even is anymore. We don't really talk. I mean, we chat minimally, but deep conversations are that of the past. Sometimes I think he only stays with me for our daughter. Why? Because those were his own words he used to describe his relationship status when trying to pick up another woman. We are both just part time parents with joint custody, who happen to live in the same home. Alternating week days for the weekend. One is home while the other is away at work. What would make me happy is to spend more family time together, all together everyday like a family should. But when we are together we couldn't be any further apart. Both of us consumed with our phones, so out of touch with one another. It's not just him, it's me too, I'll even take most of the blame. He must be so bored with me. I wonder if he feels just as lonely as I do sometimes, or is he getting that intimacy from someone else? I drive myself crazy with that question sometimes, but I've given up searching through his phone. If it's not there to find it's because he was sure to leave no trace this time and if I do find something, what then? I didn't leave the last time but it's destroyed all of me and what was my self worth. I was never this insecure before. Now when I see myself, I see everything that he must hate. I see myself slowly falling apart, getting older and washed out. I don't think I'll ever love myself again, all because I can't be enough for someone else. What does that say about me? I thought I was a strong woman before, someone who would stand her ground and demand respect. Now I see myself as I truly am. I am too weak to even respect myself. Too weak to even love myself enough to snap the fuck out of this shit and move on and resume my life. To fucking weak to even try.