A Choice for Coffer

Inside the Embassy, there would be a new notice slapped and pinned onto the notice board. The writing is all in calligraphy, and the entire notice is wrinkled, and smells a bit like leather. It reads;

"Lief fellow citizens of the city of New York,

Praise and sayeth thy graces, for the valorous Doctor hath begun to giveth thy wares for purchase for several ducats. Only three wares would beest hath given to the general public, sadly, and not much can beest derived from these choices.

One of these giveth is an explosive of high damage, which would, upon impact and destruction, release a large amount of potent gas that would proceed to knock the wretched beast with excruciating pain in the process. A splendid dewberry in attempts to eradicate and neutralize large groups of brigands, and a perfect usage to tryeth to escape from the corrupt knights that walketh these streets. One of these weapons would cost thee two hundred ducats.

Another purchase is a long and excruciating process of enhancing thy body utilizing parasitic and body modifications to maketh a much more powerful person. This office is extremely painful and horrible to withstand, but if 't be true thee art able to survive this enduring trial, thee wilt taketh power beyond a mere human strength. The cost for this would beest six hundred ducats.

The last offer that I am willing to part with is a machination that would render the person you choose ill. This potent agent will cause the monstrous brigand to be filled with high and hot temperature, causing them to effectively burn from the inside until they receive their holy judgement. This one object is extremely dangerous, and I will not part with such a dangerous object normally, but certain situations has deemed it necessary for me to part with it. I wilt beest willing to part with such a tragic and monstrous entity for the mere price of twelve thousand, six hundred and ninety five ducats."

At the bottom, there is a somewhat large note written, "In order to not has't any form of confusion or mishap, the word ducat is referring to the strange naming of currency in this city, which would beest the name 'dollar'. Peculiar."

Anyone want to buy some of the Plague Doctor's wares?