20 Years Old, realizing it's about damn time to get my shit together

I'll give a little backround now, for those who may be in a similar place. Also to remind myself why exactly I'm doing this.

This isn't my first time attempting going on a no PMO streak. I have failed pretty much more times than I can count. But this is different, i'm a point in my life where things seem to be cracking a little bit.

I broke up with an amazing girl around 5 months ago, we had dated for about a year and a half before calling it. She actually made an ultimatum about porn when we first started dating that she would never date someone who watched porn. I failed once and promised her I never would again. And then failed about a year later once again. For six months I lied, and hid. For the fear of her reaction, and the shame I would have to face. Now i'm not saying this is the reason for the breakup. But it is scary to think it may have played a role. I was constantly on edge around her, for fear of discovery. Always being on edge led to stress, which led to me being snappy at times which made things tough on both her and me.

Also about a year ago I suffered an injury that has led to some general anxiety about my life that has truly affected my happiness and quality of life. While I am fully healed, some part of me is unable to let go, and trust that I am okay. I truly believe that PMO plays a role in this because there are days when i'm feeling strong like a man, and then I PMO and spend the rest of the day in a state of anxiety and frustration.

I have also started school in the degree that I am dying for, but just like always. My motivation that I had so believed would be there to help me succeed now that I was doing something that I was passionate about, failed me.

Socially, I have generally always had a fair amount of friends. But lately I have gotten a social anxiety that I can't quite pin, even around guys i've been friends with for years. Some I get anxious and nervous around for fear they think things I say are stupid, or I come across as stupid. Added to this many of them are on the road of great success. While here I am, 20, in my first year of school and already feeling a tad incompetent.

So to sum it up, i've got multiple avenues of anxiety to beat. Motivation to find. Discipline to build.

Nofap isn't the cure for all of this I know, I have been seeing a psychiatrist about the anxiety. But I believe it is a tool that I can use to help me to springboard into success. Along with other tools like cold showers and meditation I plan to add to my routine.

I am tired of feeling weak, it's time to be strong.