Me [25 M] with my on and off again girlfriend[23 F] 1 year, is a prostitute with a heart of gold?
Okay so I met her a year ago off a dating website. She is quite attractive. She has a 3 year old son (2 year old when I met her) and we dated for about 2 months after about 4-5 dates. After those 2 months (Met in January 2015, started dating February 2015 and broke up in April 2015) I found a bunch of text messages showing her profession as a prostitute. I already had my suspicions since it didn't make sense a single mom could afford such a nice apartment and had no car (lies about how she gave it away). Anyways, there were a ton of lies like she said she attended a local university, but couldn't show any textbooks or online class log in. I tried to cut her out completely and she came back crawling to me asking for a friends with benefits. I couldn't resist and kept seeing her as a FWB since the sex was amazing. She never really made me pay for anything and a lot of times would actually take me out to dinner or pay for the dinner herself. We would even go to clubs and she would buy me drinks if I told her I didn't want to spend my money.
Anyways, I found some other girls and had sex with 2 new girls. One actually had HSV 2 (Genital Herpes) and I got it from her after a week of a few casual sex encounters. She told me she was clean and she was a girl who worked at a Target Telecommunications center. I was really mad since she tested positive for HSV 2 and once I told her she gave it to me. I had my main girl (the one who is a prostitute) go get tested with me and I watched the blood get drawn. She was negative for HSV 2 so the telecommunications girl gave it to me. Despite the fact I had the HSV 2 the prostitute girl said she didn't care and still wanted me and would have sex with me. It ends up I gave her Herpes since you have to wait about 3 months to get a blood test and we were hooking up during that time. I also had an outbreak and went to the doctor and they misdiagnosed me and told me it was a staph infection due to shaving since I shaved within the week of my first outbreak. Anyways, the point of the story was she was clean and said I don't care since I may have it anyways and even if I don't it's a skin condition and I want to see you. After about a month of me finding out I was positive for HSV 2 she also developed her first outbreak and had no hard feelings toward me but you could tell she was disappointed. I felt horrible since I told her many times to not have sex with me and run when I realized I had HSV 2 since I didn't want to give it to anyone and she refused constantly.
After these events of the last 5 months of that she basically had to move away to crash at a friends place (old ex boyfriend who pays for a ton of her shit but she says their platonic, could be could not be, I'm not really sure but I always assumed she fucked him during this time). She went over there and got her high school diploma from about September to December. I visited her on occasion and would have sex in that guy's apartment with her. He even heard it since I wanted to date her again since I just have real intense emotional and sexual attachment to her and so we were dating from September to December long distance and saw each other quite a bit. She got back from California and I realized I just couldn't do it since she said she was done with fast money. And she started texting some old contact names she never deleted and I knew they were clients. She would deny all of it to my face. I broke up with her on December 23rd and I thought we were finally done. However a week later, we saw each other and constantly had sex since she basically tells me I'm the best sex she has ever had in her entire life. So the fact that we broke up again didn't effect her feelings since she wanted me back. We have really great chemistry together in basically everything. She recently was kicked out by her cousin for undisclosed reasons (her cousin is kind of crazy since she is bi-polar and cleptomaniac) so I'm not really sure if it's the girls (prostitute girlfriend I have) fault or not since she can get money easily if she wants to. Anyways, she's finally come officially clean and now even informs me of the posts she has, the encounters she has and everything this last week since she has been crashing at my house the last week. I guess, my question is... what should I make of all of this? I have a really deep emotional and sexual connection with her since I love her company and she gives pornstar sex to me (it's her profession right?). I don't really care I have to share her right now since she says she will change, but the only way that will happen is if I move in with her and basically manage her money from a normal job and her fast money to make sure she can pay her part of the rent and save up for a car and daycare for her child. Since I don't think she is using me. Any time I offer to pay for something like her car to give her a jump start she says "Don't you dare do that, I need to earn it and I don't want to feel guilty knowing that I used YOUR money for my car."
There's always a level of deceit with her and that's what bothers me. The other thing is her son's father is basically a bum since he's addicted to hard drugs and constantly goes to rehab. She does the fast money since she doesn't want to lose custody of her child and she knows if the government proved she was an unfit mother she would lose all of her rights to her child and that will literally break her heart. She has no family support (mother is a drug addict who is clean and not clean and basically just sucks) and most of her brothers/sisters are low life criminals. She constantly says she wishes she was born into a nice family and had a father/mother who actually helped instead of just making everything worse so I feel like a lot of what she does stems from the fact she had no real mother and doesn't want to be the same thing her mother was. She is not addicted to anything other than some red wine every once in awhile or some weed since she doesn't like to be sober during her job since she hates it.
I guess my question is... If she makes me happy, pays her part of the rent and doesn't use me for it... Is it so crazy to say I want to move in with her?
I mean... we've been through a lot of shit and just have a magnetic attraction physically and emotionally to each other. I've tried many times to cut her off and I never can since I crave the texting/phone and conversation with her. As well as I crave the sex.
Either way I feel like I'm going to do it even though most people tell me to run... I have been dating some other girls in between since I am pretty smart, successful and on my way to graduating and starting a career. I'm pretty attractive too. I could go to a club and take home a girl any day really, but I'm really stuck on her. It doesn't bother me much that she sucks/fucks other dudes for cash since I've basically known for the last 10 months and never believed her regarding that part of her life. It's just finally she's opened up about it since she hit rock bottom and I constantly told her if she was just honest about it I wouldn't care. I do come from a middle-high class family so... our upbringings are very different and I could see why she thinks I could/am so judgmental about people.
Also please leave stupid comments about kissing her with dick on her mouth or anything like that. I'm just saying... if I'm happy with her, is it so crazy to try it out? Ideally, I would want her to stop, but I do not make enough money to support her and her child, as well as she needs to get a car first which means she will probably be doing it for the next 3 months to make 4-5 grand in savings potentially. If she got a full time 40 hour job that pays like $10/hr and we lived together we could afford a normal life with the child in daycare when we have him for 1 week (alternating with the Grandma/Dad once he is out of rehab) once she gets a car.
So reddit... what do you all think? Am I insane? Or is it worth trying and if it's a shitstorm to just live and learn? I'm not really at any financial risk since I'm planning on a month-to-month or 3 month lease situation so it'd be short term initially.
tl;dr: Should I move in with this girl to see if she finally stops being a prostitute if I can help her have stability?
Posted Feb 22, 2016, 5:28 AM UTC · edited