I think I'm going to finally do it.

Hello. I'm Carmine and I'm 14. For the past 4 years I've been considering suicide. Every thing seems less enjoyable and I'm so awkward and pointless. I have very little friends and I feel psychically and emotionally weak. I have some strong rope and I think it's time to end it. I would call a hotline, but I don't want them calling an ambulance.