Seeing my Ndad in my best friend from college

Does anyone else get weirded out when that happens? My dad and I used to be really close, until I left home and left college and became my own person who can see through is Ncrap. Now that I'm totally independent he's really not handling it well, as I've noted in other posts.

So the weird thing that comes in here is my best friend from college. I love him so much - there's a part of me that just wants to be whatever he wants me to be in his life... not like changing myself, but more like if he wants a sister, I'll be a sister, if he wants a lover, I'll be a lover, if he wants a buddy, I'll be a buddy. Maybe that's weird. But especially senior year of college, I knew him better than I knew myself. And it felt good! But despite making out a couple times we never dated, and couldn't really fathom the concept. We were comrades, mostly.

What's gotten weird is post-grad, I think it's gotten a little murkier now that we're not all but living with each other more like siblings than anything else, which was the status quo throughout much of college. Sometimes he acts like he wants me, sometimes he doesn't, and it's weird and hard to keep up.

I think mostly, he doesn't, though, and I finally put into words why I don't want him that way anymore - I think I fell into that old pattern people talking about of seeking a close partner/friend/whatever in someone who's like your opposite sex parent. Thing was, I never was totally under my dad's thumb, and I knew something was off with my quasi-crush on my friend... and I think what's off about it is that my friend might is a lot like my Ndad.

I need a romantic partner who is much more patient, grounded, steady, and really just simple at the end of the day - i want to live life directly, and not worry about manipulations or facades. I still love my friend (he's a good man), but just not like that, not anymore... and it feels good.