BumHam: I said, no, no, no

Everyone has given up on BumHam at this point, except his Mom. The furniture and most essentials from the Guest House were lost to the Apartment so we couldn't reasonably leave him to rot there. Uncle did eventually let him back in his house but told him he better stay out of the way and if he wants money he isn't going to find it here.

So BH would shuffle around his Family for odd jobs. Wash the car? $5. Do a half-assed job and leave streaks? $3. Between her and his neighboring Aunts he made decent enough cash to attend most community events in town and food to maintain his figure, places to waste time and generally stay out of the way are easy to come by.

He ate most meals at his Mom's across town and scavenged everything else from each house's deep freezers. When Gram realized this she moved hers into the garage and we'd often have "bear trouble" the kind where a bear is smart enough to break into the garage for food.

Before long we got word that baby number 3 was born, a boy. We were given introductions at Grams and hear nothing more until...

BumHam's Ex Mother-in-Law shows up to have an honest talk with Uncle. Her daughter is suffering from postpartum, probably post traumatic stress, but either way she's in no condition to raise two children on her own. MIL is certain she can deal, raise the baby for a while, but if she has to take on her own daughter as well she doesn't know how she's going to manage proper care for a toddler. Outside of BumHam is there anyone who can manage this for the time being?

Gram remembers it like it was yesterday, Uncle "walked across the yard with this little girl attached to his leg."

She was 3 years old so he felt he could talk openly about the situation. "What we gonna' do? We're getting old and he's (meaning BH) not right in the head."

After a realistic conversation Uncle and Gram decide to take her in. Uncle will move in with his long term girlfriend to have a proper living situation if it boils down to custody. The girl will officially live with Gram and be provided for by Uncle. After a cancer scare he's ready to retire anyway and raising a Grandchild is a good enough excuse to stay home.

Later

"What about me?" BumHam snorts.

"What about you?" Gram chides "I'm old, you think I want to be raising a kid and you?"

"You don't gotta raise me" BH says dismissively.

Uncle scoffs, "We don't gotta' take care of you? Good."

BumHam inhales puffing up until his bottom lip is practically touching his nose. "I got rights. I'm her Father!" he bellows.

"Not in this house" Gram corrects him putting her foot down "You want to babysit, that's fine, but you'll not mess things up for this girl."

"I won't mess things up" BH answers genuinely confused.

"I've watched you ruin everything you've touched for years now. I'm sick of it" Uncle says, he leaves it at "you want to hang off the tit, go back to your Mother."

BumHam, in true soap opera fashion, breaks a vase and Gram tells him to not come back until he's willing to pay for it as he stomps out the door. Uncle, uncharacteristically, doesn't feel the need to beat the shit out of Ham. He's at a different place in his life, he finally gets to be a Grandpa.

Later, Later

The arrangement is as follows. Uncle now lives with his Girlfriend and they're adding a bedroom to her cottage. BabyBro and his high school sweetheart are marrying and, with MiddleBro's blessing Uncle offered them his house. To offset costs they've asked MiddleBro to move in to Uncle's vacated room. BumHam is still there but is usually pre-occupied with hustling money or stealing food.

The little girl is in pre-K, and spends time with her Grandpa after school, returning home when Gram is off of work. Between all the actual adults in her life she's well taken care of and loved very much. Her older Sister and younger Brother even get to visit on occasion so long as BumHam stays away during these times.

Meanwhile

"BumHam wants a fridge" Gram says, "he's telling me he wants to fix the Guest House up. I told him how you gonna' do that without any money? and he tells me I got money. Probably full of shit."

"MiddleBro said he's been coming home with groceries" Uncle adds suspiciously.

"Where would he get the money?" Gram wonders out loud "Think his Mom would give it to him?"

Uncle says, "She'll take money from her Kids before she'll consider giving them anything" waving off the notion.

"I'm going to find out" Gram concludes.

As it turns out

BumHam has applied for food benefits on behalf of his daughter. It was as simple as getting his mail addressed to Gram's and stealing a medical check up form that had his Daughter's name and residence listed. Being without work and temporarily homeless as the form read he cleared nearly $1,200.00 before anyone figured what was going on.

It's food stamps, he can only get food right?

When you hustle for a living there are means. No one had seen this issued card and upon searching for it, it was nowhere to be found. Word eventually got back that he had given it to a local drug dealer to use in exchange for either cash or drug payouts. Since the benefits were quarterly BumHam would get his fix and his groceries, be high for a while, gorge himself when coming down. Then rinse and repeat. Since he was always an asshole and hadn't lost any noticeable weight it was hard to tell he was even on drugs.

Either way drugs are no joke. A case like BumHam on dope, even worse. The decision was unanimous for everyone but BumBum because, according to BH, there is nothing wrong with him.

BumHam is shipped off to rehab.