I always do this shit ugh

I have a habit of getting high @ my probation office on my way out, and 90% of the time I can hold on to the dope without looking at it twice but I faltered once before and luckily didn't get tested. New p.o. now who tests me every visit, and I copped tonight and my boy came in to chill for a while. And broke me off half a 50 of coke. So now I have a speedball in a bag stashed in a fold in my ciggs, waiting to go in the probation bathroom, and I want to just do one so badly now. Obviously I'm not going to, but talking about it releves some of the craving. Because I came read how stupid doing it sounds