I (M,25) feel defeated after trying to help my wife (F,23)

I(m,25) feel defeated after trying to help my Wife(f,23).

Hi so my wife and I have been together for 4 years and she has depression(and is also pregnant but this issue has gone on longer than she's been pregnant). I'm pretty sure I have it too I've just never been diagnosed. So a lot of times when my wife is upset about something she will tell me a little bit of what's wrong but not everything, no real details, so it's harder for me to understand why she is upset.

Like today for instance, I get a text saying how today has been shitty for her. She explains somewhat but not everything. I was only told that she lost her keys and was late for work, and her mom would not be able to come visit us today. So I get home from work in my best ready to listen mode and ask her what's wrong, hoping for the full scoop of everything that went wrong, instead I get told she doesn't want to talk. She'd clearly been crying and she sent me a text about how horrible her day had been, so I thought for sure she'd want me to listen to her. Okay my next plan of action was to ask her if theirs anything at all I could do for her, like make dinner or get her something to eat. She says no. In a way that makes me feel stupid for asking. So instead I walk out of our bedroom and I help with one of the things I knew was making her upset that I could control, the fact that she lost her keys. I found them in between the coffee table and sofa. I show her I found her keys and that doesn't do anything at all. She then asks me to heat some water on the stove for macaroni but not make it because "I obviously can't do it". So I do as she asks, thinking "well she's had a bad day so I'll ignore that" then I go back into the room and she just got good news that her mom was going to make it down to our house. So I say "look at that today is shaping up to be a better day after all" and she doesn't react she just ignores me, so I try to kiss her and make her laugh a little while theirs some good vibes (or so I thought ) about and she tells me to stop and go away. By this time, I'm upset. So I go in the kitchen without saying anything and a few minutes go by. She comes in and I tell her how she's making me feel. Because this isn't the first time I try to be their for her and I get rebuffed. I ask why is it that when i do something stupid i realize it immediately and apologize and it takes her time.(which...is probably not the best thing to do now that I type it out) because she knows what she's doing. So she says "I was going to say sorry later, what do you want from me, for me to say I'm a terrible person and you're better". That's absolutely not what I want. I just want her to say sorry and move on with life like an adult. That's all I'd like. Because I cant think of a time in our relationship when she's said sorry without me telling her how she made me feel. That's honestly what I do when I make a mistake. I know mostly when ive been a douche. I apologize immediately because I feel awful if I dont. I told her later that when she made the comment I was going to say sorry later, what do you want from me, for me to say I'm a terrible person and you're better" that that makes me feel like she's trying to put words in my mouth because I don't want her to say that.

Please tell me if I sound like I think I'm better than her. I feel crazy. Part of me thinks that could be true but the other part of me thinks that it's not because I truly don't want that. I just....I feel defeated tonight. I don't know I just wanted to help her feel okay and I ended up feeling like poop.

TLDR: I feel defeated after trying to help my wife and getting rebuffed at every turn.