Another "I'm trying to remember the comedian who said this" request

All right, r/StandUpComedy, I've seen you come through for posters before, so I'm putting it to all of you. I recently heard a comedy bit where the premise was about the phrase "long story short." Basically, the joke was about somebody who put an inappropriately long amount of time between two events so that you couldn't follow the story at all.

Example: I dropped my handkerchief, and long story short, that's why I'm being executed for multiple murders.

That obviously wasn't the bit, because I can't remember anything else about it, but I remember it being very funny.

Hope somebody can help!