I love you but I shouldn't..

When we met I thought you were great. You were so nice and you made me laugh. We told each other that we loved each other way too soon. But it felt right. You instantly became my best friend. I fell in love. Everything was perfect.. I got butterflies every time I saw you, every time I heard your voice, every time you smiled. I was so happy and I felt so loved..until you became a completely different person. until everything I did was wrong. I'm not allowed to be upset, I'm not allowed to be angry, I'm not allowed to feel anything without you making me feel terrible about it. I can't have friends. I can't go out. I'm not allowed to graduate and finish school. I'm really scared of you. I'm scared of what you'll say next. I'm scared of when you leave for someone else. I'm scared to be myself. Every day I think "you're stupid","you're worthless","no one loves you","you don't matter" and it's not my voice, it's yours..All I hear is you screaming and telling me how I don't matter. I wish I had the guts to scream back that I do matter. That I am loved. That I am worth something. But you're winning. You're beating me up. You're killing me. You're winning. You won.