Drunken Piss

When I drink,

I like to pee,

Hands free.

.

But I don't pee straight.

So I need to negotiate

Left foot forward,

Right foot back.

.

Beware of water pressure.

.

Wall,

Tank,

Floor,

Eventually it hits the bowl,

.

but always dribbles,

On my leg,

.

And never impresses,

My date.