I need help from a brother

You guys, in my opinion, are a testament to what the "Church" is about. Not the building. Not the idea of the physical congregation. Rather, the ideal which it embodies. People coming together under the power of God; anywhere and any time, to accomplish anything.

So when I say this to you, know that it is because I have the utmost respect for all of you and all that you do. I say this because I've never asked someone for help in my life (someone who wasn't God that is), when it came to personal matters. I see God in all of you. In the brotherhood and the support that comes from this site.

With that in mind I ask for help. Help from anyone who feels moved to do a good deed. Anyone who is in a similar position. Let me tell you about me:

• aged 21
• PMO stricken for almost 10 years
• Feeling detached from my emotions
• Feeling far removed from God
• Can't bring self to ask God for forgiveness that I know I may take for granted again
• Self-control is almost non-existent
• Lust filling the majority of my thoughts
• Can't think of anything else
• Even a death in my family didn't stop me << source of shame

I have nothing left. No other angle to look at this from. No other way to come at this. So much to lose and no way to save it all.

I'm a parody of a man and a far cry from where I want to be in life/what God has planned for me. I need someone to tell me that it's possible and how. To know that I wont be this shell devoid of feeling (when I once maintained a 30 day streak I could feel again). To know that someone out there thinks there's a way.

Thanks, EA