My best friend sounds like she's RBN

Hello, this is my first post on Reddit so apologies in advance if I mess up on any rules.

I heard about this sub from another friend who's into Reddit, and started reading a bunch of the stories. They're really disturbing, but as I read I started realizing how much this all sounds like my best friend's family... so I was hoping to get some thoughts as to whether she might be RBN and how I can help her.

I'll call her F for friend. Some background: we're both high school seniors and minors right now. I've been close with her for only the past few years but have known her since middle school.

Recently, I read through some of the links you have on the sidebar. I showed her this one: http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html and she said that while she certainly didn't identify with all of it, about half of it is pretty much accurate. The person who would probably be a narcissist is her mom. Here are some things that are normal in her family that seem really, really weird to me:

--her sister takes her clothes and her parents don't care. Her sister's a year older and is in college right now, but when she went away she stole a bunch of F's clothes and took them to college. Then when she came back, she "forgot" to bring clothes and tried to take a bunch of F's again. (Only reason that didn't happen is because mom made F help her sister pack her suitcase, and F found them there.)

--EVERYTHING that F's sister does is wonderful, but F can never do well enough. One example: F scored a 2300 on the SAT (as a freshman, I might add), but "your sister got 23__, she did better than you and you clearly didn't try hard enough". F has an amazing GPA in college-level classes, but she's never praised for it, though her sister was when she did well. F's sister led a small club at school and her parents applauded her and chided F for not participating in clubs enough; yet when me and F won an international-level competitive award at a competition, her mom was just like "oh good job" and moved on. (This might seem really trivial, but as a teenager this amazed me; my parents were thrilled, but hers just seemed indifferent.)

--F's parents make her work when her sister and mom don't, and they make her help pay for her sister's college. This, I just don't know what to do with. Her mom has been "looking for a job", but hasn't found one yet and doesn't seem likely to. F's dad works and is often gone away for weeks at a time. Between her multiple jobs last fall, F was working about 30 hours a week while still being enrolled in a full, hard class schedule; luckily, when her dad got back from one of his trips he found out how ridiculously much she was working and made her quit her main job. F's normal sleep schedule during that time was to stay up until 3 or later every single night for a solid month, without exaggeration.

--F's mom insults her. This one took me a while to pick up on, but for example this past weekend I was getting ready for a school dance with F and she made some passing comment like "I'm jealous of all you slim people." I told her she looked awesome in her dress and had no reason to be jealous, and she said she wished her mom thought that. (The irony: her mom has time to go walking/exercising a several miles every day, while F has school then work immediately after until nighttime.)

That really surprised me, that her mom would say or even imply that. I know F's sister would; her sister always insulted her whenever me or any other of our friends were around. But her mom??

--There may or may not be some sort of physical abuse going on at F's house. Fairly recently, F complained to me and a couple of our other friends, about how her awesome sister hit her for taking the family laptop while sister was away (F wanted it for homework, her sister wanted it for Youtube...). And when F told her mom about it, her mom was completely indifferent.

--F has to pay for a lot of her own stuff. I remember F specifically saying the "you work now so you have to pay for your own things" -type statement, the one that an Nmom might say, was very applicable to her. In fact, the thing that prompted me to post this was that at a recent school weekend-long activity, F's mom wouldn't give her money and F had to fund her own trip.

I say "may or may not" because the way F said it was as though complaining about how the cafeteria lady gave her the wrong food, or how a teacher had given her a bad grade. As if it were an annoying but reasonably normal occurrence. But still... it just seems WEIRD. I know if one of my siblings hit me like that, my mom would be fucking pissed.

SO: here's what I'd like to know...

1. Is my friend RBN? If not, might there another type of abuse that seems to be going on?

2. If so, should I tell a counselor at school? My mom suggested this but I'm reluctant to, because a) we're seniors and heading off for college soon, how much can they help? b) my friend would probably be mortified if I told someone this stuff about her. A few of our other friends have heard some of it, but still; c) a couple of the counselors at our school have had some big issues with keeping information confidential in the past-- for unrelated people, but it doesn't exactly inspire a kid to go share this kind of thing with them.

And this the most, maybe: 3. How can I approach this topic with F? She's very kind, outgoing and great with groups of people, but she's sometimes awkward about maintaining close friendships. For example, she gets really flustered when complimented. Also, I have the feeling that maybe even these weird stories are just scratching the surface... I just don't know for sure, though. She knows I'm loyal and care about her, but it takes a WHILE for her to really open up.

Though my friend isn't on Reddit, I'm a little nervous already that this post contains too much identifying information; I may have to edit it later. But I definitely have more stories if you guys need more to decide.

Again, apologies if I've accidentally broken any Reddit rules! I read the sidebar beforehand, though. Let me know if I should move this story to another sub. And sorry this is so long.

Thoughts? Anyone have a similar situation, friend-wise or experienced personally?

edit: forgot to finish a sentence.