I don't know what to do

I feel like life only allows me brief periods of happiness so that the pain doesn't become to normal. I thought everything was going great yesterday.

Today I get a call from the army saying that they were rejecting my "request" for IRR. As a little backstory, they lied about the reason why I re-upped in the first place, and told me that as an option in the contract, I could go IRR whenever I wanted.

The army has destroyed my life for the past six years, and driven me to being homeless, excepting the kindness of some friends.

I've been depressed for a long time. Last year I failed out of college because I didn't have the energy to do anything but sleep.

I can't stop wondering whether it would just be easier to end it. I don't have it in me to deal with going back, and an other than honorable discharge would ruin my life.

I don't know whether I want to vomit, drink myself into oblivion, or tie a noose.