Gained weight, feeling weird.

2 weeks ago I weighed in at 84.2 pounds; now I'm 87.

It seems like a huge jump, but I'm still underweight, I still need to put on another 30 pounds, and the number itself is arbitrary until I reach 120.

It's hard to justify eating, though. I'm not super hungry. I "feel fat". There's a subtle desire for the feeling of emptyness. Every moment I spend sitting versus standing has me anxious beyond belief.

And I still eat. And try to justify it.