TIFU by Using the Sauna at my Gym

So this just happened about an hour ago. PS this is also my first post so bear with me.

Anyways, I got off work a little early today and after working out I thought, why not hit up the Sauna? I've got a little extra time after all, so I'll just go enjoy a nice relaxing sauna and then go make a shit load of food because I have all the time in the world.

So after my workout I go and shower before getting into the sauna and then I fill up the pitcher with water to throw on the rocks. Shortly after, this fat guy walks in in a speedo and sort of waves the door open and closed and just looks around, and I'm just thinking, "What the heck man you're letting out all the heat...And you're weird as fuck". So I toss some more water on to make up for the steam I lost, and fill the pitcher up again. He does this a few more times, and each time I have to keep adding more steam.

So when I came in after filling up the pitcher I noticed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt hanging by the rocks as if someone was drying them out and I realized it's probably that weirdo guy who's hanging outside the Sauna. I had noticed somethong before but I thought it was just some towels. Then he walks in and takes off his speedo (he was in the hottub before) and sets it on the bench in the Sauna and just stands at the doorway (door closed this time) waving his outstretched arms above his head and pushing his fat fucking gut out over his tiny wiener. This guy has clearly never been in a sauna before, because he seems to think it's used as a drying room of sorts . He starts shaking out his beard and trying to dry himself off in a fucking sauna, where I've been pouring tons of fucking water on the hot rocks to make as much steam as possible to make up for the lost heat this clown has released by opening the door several times...making it the most humid sauna I have ever been in, and also impossible to become dry in.

I'm now not so much weirded out by this guy as I am pissed off at what he's doing, but I can tell by his reply to what I say next that he's new to the country (middle eastern of sorts) so I be a polite guy (Canadian) and I say you can get a towel at the desk to dry off and I don't understand what he says back but after a while he finally leaves his clothes in with me and doesn't come back for a while. Then the real "TIFU" part begins: it kind of dawns on me that I've been in here a while being distracted by this creepy fat bastard, and I very rarely use the sauna because the last couple times I felt kind of dizzy afterward.

So I'm starting to not feel so good and I notice my heart beating which means it's going kind of fast. I get up to head to the shower, which is adjacent to the sauna, and as I feel the room temperature air hit me I realize I'm really feeling not too fucking well at all. I figure I should have a relatively cool shower because maybe my body temp is high.

The cool water hits me and I can hardly fucking breathe at this point - I find it very difficult to catch a full breath, but I stick with it and sort of just hold my head in my hands with my elbows on my knees to try and get a grip on things. Then I stand up because it's not working for shit and I really feel fucked up so I close my eyes and lean on the wall and it's when I open them that I'm really in hot water (not literally). All the while I'm listening in case someone else comes in so I can try to act normal. ..but so now I am just trying as hard as I can to not pass out but I can feel the pressure going to my head and my vision starts to narrow and my legs are sort of giving out as I'm sort of half washing myself with soap. All I can think is that I'm going to wake up naked in the shower with no one but that weird fucking naked guy staring over me and I can not let that happen. I use every bit of focus I have at this point to find my way to my locker, and just sit soaking wet on the bench because I can't dry myself off. Then this guy comes around the corner and he has the goddam guest locker beside me and I'm sprawled out on the bench taking up all the space, unable to really move while this guy is getting back into his -now dry- sweatpants, speedo, and shirt.

I think I'm going to puke or pass out, but again, I can NOT imagine myself waking up in a pile of puke naked with just this guy around. Also, my bowels now feel the urge to empty, so I'm in a bit of a tight spot. The only way out I can imagine is to open my locker and get money from my coat for a vending machine drink. It took everything I had to get up without puking/shitting everywhere to walk all the way to the powerade machine, and smack the top one and a blue powerade comes to my rescue. I just went back and sat down and downed the powerade and within a few minutes I was actually surprised at how good I felt.

I don't know what this guy was thinking, but I'm sure he thought I was just as fucked as I thought he was. Anyways, I'm just glad I didn't have to pass out naked in the changeroom and puke/shit everywhere in the process.

TL;DR used sauna for too long, almost puked/shit myself/lost consciousness