Damage control - It seems I may have done everything wrong trying to help. What to do now?
Mom is staying at a physical therapy facility. She is in a wheel chair and uses a walker a little over the past 15 years. This was my ONLY opportunity to deal with what had become a very unsanitary, cluttered, and unsafe place for her to live alone. Long before her current condition, she has been hoarding. I am cleaning and fixing up her house fixing floors and painting rooms. She is not aware I am doing this. I am worried how she is going to handle her new place. It was too much physically for her to handle and she did not want me to do it, but her health and safety were at serious risk. Advice for how to help her adjust with so much of her stuff missplaced? I did not throw everything away, but I did move things to other rooms out of her way of where she needs to move around.
Posted Mar 1, 2016, 2:13 PM UTC
You have only your mothers best interests at heart and that's to be commended.
However you may need to prepare yourself for a very distressed response.
If I were you I would prepare your mother beforehand and explain that you had to deal with some unsafe conditions in her home, and this entailed moving some of her possessions, and reassure her that nothing has been thrown away.
Acknowledge that you know it was not signed off by her, and you accept that she might resent that, but that you feel responsible for her wellbeing and that's the only reason you would take such a dramatic step.
I don't know if there is anything else you can do at this point, it's a fraught situation. You have my sympathies.
Co-signing with this.
Your mother's safety and health had to come first, period. You took the steps needed to ensure that.
That said, u/Pegaret is right: your mom's probably going to be unhappy when she gets back. She may even lash out at you. That's why it's going to be so important to prepare her for what's coming.
EDIT: Does the PT facility has a social worker that you can speak to about your mother's hoarding issues, and how to handle things with her? Or can they recommend one? Many social workers are aware of hoarding--especially in senior citizen populations--and the issues around it.
You might want to grab a copy of the book Children of Hoarders: How to Minimize Conflict, Reduce the Clutter, and Improve Your Relationship to figure out how to approach your mom about this.