r/OCPoetry•10 yr. ago

A Portrait of the Manic-Depressive as a Young Man

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"This is the worst ginger ale I've had in my life"

I said to the white walls and fluorescent lights

A record-setting breakdown, achieving the impossible

Shooting for the moon and landing in the hospital -

Picking at the bracelet that bore my name and "21M"

Waiting for a mediocre meal that never even came

Noticing the dirt and grime covering the floors

I suddenly felt an irreversible shame

The shame

of my roommate escorting me to the psych center

Making sure I didn't walk into oncoming traffic

The shame

of having to explain to my parents that every girl

I ever loved has turned out to be an addict

The shame

of wanting to fuck the therapist, because sex

is the only thing that makes me feel anymore

The shame

The shame, the shame of it all tore

me to bits and the next hours blurred:

Forms.

Urine samples.

Blood tests.

Questionnaires.

Diagnoses.

Discharge.

Words.

I remembered my father's words as I put on my sweater

He said "Son, sometimes life doesn't get any better"

Now it's time, once again, to get it all back in order

Even though heartbreak is waiting just around the corner

The moment you confided in me, my beautiful friend

The truth broke me in half, and now it has to end

And as I sit in my room with the indigo walls

The lights are off and this ginger ale tastes

nothing at all.

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Posted Mar 8, 2016, 9:21 PM UTC · edited

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