Ok so my friend is getting married and somehow I've managed to get to 26 without going to a non family members wedding, and I've not even been to one of those in the last 15 years.
I have no idea what to wear or where to shop (I'm in the UK) I've been invited to the hen do but I don't know anyone else there. What little etiquette things might I be missing?
I'm so nervous about this and I would like some advice.
Posted Mar 14, 2016, 11:36 PM UTC
RSVP. The earlier the better. Nothing pisses off the bride like a late RSVP. I've seen marriages end because of late RSVPs.
done ages ago, but yes, she got well stressed about this and did a fb update begging people to send in their RSVPs.
Congratulations. You're already ahead of 90% of wedding attendees.
Dress codes vary depending on wedding. In most cases unless you're directly involved in the wedding somehow you can dress like Sunday church. A bit more put together than a work outfit but not formal. A smart basic color demure dress would suffice.
If they have a dress code, great, one less thing to worry about.
For gifts consult the bridal registry, or if they don't have one, ask around for what they'd like you to get or go with the giftcard/cash option. Try to match the monetary value to the cost of you and your plus one attending the wedding. If you can't afford it, that's perfectly fine. A nice little note or card with a short line or two of apology is more than enough, (along with congratulations and wishes and such of course) and welcomed.
I've had friends who didn't attend weddings because they couldn't afford gifts and honestly, it doesn't matter. Just show up and make an effort. This isn't a gypsy affair.
As for etiquette... Relax and be normal. That's usually good enough. Unless you normally get drunk, kick the table over, curse out strangers, and try to dance to a quartet. If so, you should skype it in.
Thank you :)
And have fun!
Just be yourself. That's why you were invited :)
Try not to get black out drunk and accidently fuck the best man and or maid of honor. Other than that, dress nice, bring a gift, and making awkward speeches during the reception will make them remember you every anniversary!
the common consensus seems to be: Don't get drunk.
So, I'll stick to mostly water :p
Also, if they don't have cake, you tell them for me that their wedding is AWFUL.
I went to a wedding a few years ago that did not have a wedding cake, but did have a full-on dessert buffet. It was AWESOME. Better than cake.
This is.... acceptable.
they will totally have cake, the groom is a chef so I expect everything to taste amazing.
GOOD. I went to a wedding, they had this GORGEOUS like 5 tiered cake. The couple cut into it, fed each other a piece, then THE cake was wheeled back into the kitchen. IT WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN
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Wear something nice. If you are unsure of what qualifies as nice at this particular wedding, ask brides parent, maid of honor, sibling, somebody with a handle on it.
Show up, have a good time, try not to get drunk, don't punch anybody.
try not to get drunk
Ha, you can be insanely drunk you just can't be belligerent or puking.
drunken dancefloor swaying ftw?
Nah, we taught all the bridal party dance moves. Then my husband may have split open his pants and accidentally had his nose broken by the best mans girlfriend. Either way excellent times.
And yes at the end of all this the bride and groom still like us. The grooms mother was actually giggling with me in the bathroom as I found a sewing kit to repair hubbies pants.
Edit: Actually some of the more entertaining moments from our own wedding were due to drunk people. Finding our friend in that ditch was pretty amusing, as was the carrying him back to the reception hall with 4 guys each holding a limb.
Don't wear white.
During the vows ceremony, don't get in the way of the photographer. Some people will be taking their own pictures and inadvertently get in the way of the photographer causing him/her to not be able to get an important shot he is being paid to get. Turn your phone off/silence it during the ceremony. If an emergency comes up that prevents you from attending the wedding, apologize for not being able to make it and offer to pay for your reception dinner.
Ask the bride or groom (which ever is your friend) as most of the replies here will be from people in USA and wedding etiquette varies a lot between UK and USA. But generally it comes down to dressing nicely (cocktail dress or pant suit type thing) and bringing a gift or cash with a card. You should also google UK wedding etiquette.
I don't want to trouble the bride as she is extremely stressed out about this, she's a bit of a high strung person to begin with so I'm just kinda not wanting to add to that.
I've googled UK wedding etiquette and it all seems to say "some weddings to this but not all" which isn't very helpful, but then I realise I might get the same here.
They are signed up a gift register so we'll have to get something from there I reckon.
If the bride is busy and stressed, address questions to the MOH.
Generally speaking, don't wear white and don't outshine the bride are the only universal rules.
thanks, I might send MOH a email as she just sent out emails for the hen do.
Oh just ask what the other girls are wearing at the hen do. Best place by far.