The Royal Slapfight Series Round 2 Wrap-Up

Semi-Finals Bracket

Because I kind of screwed up, here are notes as to how the scoring system works:

1. ALL parent comments are separated into high-effort, mid-effort and low-effort points (or, as I like to call them, "The Sickest of Burns ", "Relatively Sick Burns " and "Not So Sick Burns "), tallied up for each lord, and compared.
2. Parent comments are given more weight than responses and rebuttals - a standalone comment will be more likely to earn a high-effort point than a retort to one. Exceptions are made for particularly funny or insightful responses.
3. Repeated comments by the same user eventually begin to account for fewer and fewer points - if you make a funny reply but you have replies all over the thread, I’m more likely to assign that comment a low-effort point than a medium-effort one. I am of course talking about responses; if you have multiple PARENT comments in a thread, I’ll just discount all but one.
4. When I look at each lord’s tally side-by-side, generally a winner is clear, but in a case where it’s incredibly close (e.g. Ike vs. Eirika), high-effort points will be given much more weight than mid- and low-effort ones.

For each Round 2 match below you’ll also see my tallies - keep in mind that they’re mostly a general indicator of how the thread went. First, though, take note:

#GOING INTO THE SEMI-FINALS, THE FOLLOWING ARGUMENTS WILL NO LONGER COUNT FOR ANYTHING HIGHER THAN A LOW-EFFORT POINT, UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY SOMETHING ORIGINAL OR AN ADDITIONAL ARGUMENT:

"No one’s played Gaiden / Alm who?"
"Dick armour!"

"Master Knight is OP"
"Leif’s literally genetically inferior"

"Hector dies"
"Hectorcopter! / Beard."

"Eliwood's genes suck / Roy is stain on his legacy"
"Eliwood fucked a dragon / Eliwood is a Disney princess"

You now have to get creative to help your lord win. I tried to include one big argument for and one big argument against each lord to make it relatively fair.

That said, here’s the rundown of the Round 2 matches:

#---

Seliph vs. Alm

Seliph
High-Effort: IIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIII

Alm
High-Effort: IIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIII

In which u/SabinSuplexington attempts to convince the sub that Alm is a viable lord... and succeeds. R.I.P. best lord, too good for this world.

In lieu of an actual highlight, here's an accurate summary of the thread.

#---

Leif vs. Marth

Leif
High-Effort: IIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIII

Marth
High-Effort: IIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: III

I didn’t really need to tally up the points for this match but I did anyway. Looks like Leif is determined to reclaim his spot as winner of our popularity contests.

Highlight: Nice try, Alm.

#---

Hector vs. Eirika

Hector
High-Effort: IIIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Eirika
High-Effort: IIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIII

Jesus Christ you people are exhausting me; this match had like three times as many comments as Leif/Marth. Hector pulls out a win because that’s how Hector do, but don’t be fooled - there was quite a bit of Eirika support buried in the lower-leveled comments. Still not enough to pull her out, but a valiant effort.

Highlight: Continuity error? No, feature!

#---

Lucina vs. Eliwood

Lucina
High-Effort: IIIIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIII

Eliwood
High-Effort: IIIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Technically still ongoing, but there's the tally as of 11pm EST, ten hours after the thread was posted. I started putting "Eliwood fucked a dragon" and "Eliwood is a Disney princess" in the low-effort category which is why there's such a high concentration there. Interestingly, both lords got an even split between mid- and low-effort comments, and Lucina got one more high-effort one.

Highlights:
My favourite Eliwood burn
My favourite Lucina burn
Amidst the chaos, clarity

#---

In the interests of not creating another blindside, Friday’s thread (Hector vs. Eliwood) will be posted at 1pm EST, three hours earlier than usual, just like today’s. Damn exams. The rest (including tomorrow's) will be at the usual time of 4pm EST.

That said, remember that Seliph is best lord and you’re all wrong for helping Alm win this is all supposed to be for fun. Get creative with those arguments and I’ll see you tomorrow!