I keep trying and keep getting pushed down.

It's like a weight on top of my chest. Cliche, I know. But it's the only way to describe it. I keep telling myself it'll get better. At least I finally got hired today... All I want is to see him fight for me for once. He says he does, but when the time comes, he runs away and I'm left a mess. And then the only way it'll come to terms is if I convince myself it was my fault, and let the sadness build up. I want to feel loved.