M4F - At the End of the Day

This post is purely a work of fiction

I measure my abstinence like an alcoholic would his sobriety, with equal parts pride and longing. Luckily I'm not an alcoholic, so I can find some solace in the bottom of a bourbon bottle. Sadly that solace is short lived. The constant compulsion to give in, to transgress, to break my streak of abstinence sets in somewhere between the sixth and tenth drink and returns with ferocity the following morning. There's little that makes me lust for my vices as much as a hangover.

The object of all this turmoil, the swaying back and forth from rejection to desperation, is something almost too shameful to name. It's something people call evil. Something so vile that murderers and rapists make shanks to dispatch people who share the same desire I do. The word people use for people like me makes hairs stand on end.

So here I am, at the end of my day, with another bottle of wine. I'm done abstaining. Sometimes you have to give in. So I delve back into the disgusting corners of the internet. Chatrooms, message boards, and image boards. The subterranean relay of perverts that winds ever closer to a bottomless ledge. And here I sit hoping for that chime and buzz of a new message. Someone to know. Someone to meet. Someone to connect with.

Again, this is a work of fiction. This is a very open prompt for roleplay that can be treated as an in-depth scene or a meta-style conversation.