Husband 43m and I 41f, married 4 years. Arguement turned physical, police involved. Can it be saved?

Other relevant information: we have a blended family of mixed ages and a toddler boy. I am pregnant, 3rd trimester.

My husband works very hard in his own business as the sole provider. I am SAHM since birth of our toddler by mutual agreement. This hasn't been an issue, my husband claims it still isn't. Money is tight but we get by. The baby I'm carrying now wasn't exactly planned but my husband was/is (?) happy about his arrival. I told husband, prior to our "happy accident" that I didn't want more kids but here we are and we will make the best of it.

This last weekend my husband was completely exhausted from an extraordinarily hectic week which included a round the clock shift and many late nights and early mornings. Over the weekend we had his 2 kids, 8&5M, and our toddler at home. My other children were at their father's. The plan was for husband to rest and recuperate as much as possible. Unfortunately, on the Saturday morning, I tripped over and really hurt my back as I twisted to avoid landing on my sizeable bump. I could barely walk or stand, couldn't straighten up, couldn't sleep. I saw my dr but there was little to be done other than rest; most drugs for this kind of injury are aren't good during pregnancy. So I was stuck on the couch and my wonderful but tired husband took over.

By Sunday morning I was still in a lot of pain after a sleepless night. I was teary and emotional. Husband and I had a very minor disagreement about him moving our prt so I could sit near him (thanks, pregnancy hormones) but it was defused.

I noticed as the day went on that my husband'a mood was changing. He commenced a deep-cleaning project and attacked it with compulsion. This is often a sign something is bothering him. I staggered out to try to talk to him a few times but he brushed off my concern with " it needed doing" (true, but could have waited) and "I'm fine, go rest". By the late afternoon I was feeling a little better, still very sore, but I offered to cook for the children. He refused and did it instead. It wasn't until after dinner that things went bad.

I could tell the atmosphere was turning tense but, focused on my own pain and fatigue, I really missed the severity. After dinner kids were playing in another room when my husband returned to kitchen where I was pottering around trying to clean up. He was angry and accused me of swearing in front of his kids. I'm sure I didn't. The argument escalated and quickly turned to how he is doing all the housework and working through the week, that it's not fair etc etc. i contested this. I admitted I've been slowing down particularly lately, that I've struggled since the birth of our toddler whom I was still breast feeding through the night when I fell pregnant again but up until this last weekend I had been doing all the necessaries, ie the cooking, dishes, grocery shop, laundry, child care. I admitted this was less than ideal but it was all I could manage at the moment. My husband wouldn't relent, mocked "the pregnancy excuse", and continued to make assertions i considered to be grossly unfair and untrue. I realised at this point that we weren't going to get anyway and tried to turn the arguement. But he continued and stormed downstairs. I followed him, hoping to get him to calm down and listen, out of earshot of the kids.

I know what I did next was very wrong. It's something I've done in the past and something i never intend to do again. I now realise how wrong it is and I've been addressing it with a therapist since. I blocked my husband's exit to try to get him to listen to me. I was trying to tell him i love him and didn't want to fight and could we just calm down for the kids etc. His anger didn't subside, he was still shouting, he told me to move or he would push me put of the way. I refused to move until he calmed down and listened, so he pushed me and I fell, hurting my knee. It wasn't a really hard push but I'm pregnant-clumsy and it was dark, the floor downstairs is uneven. He stormed past me back upstairs and locked the door. I climbed through a window. Once inside he would not let me near our toddler. I told him I wanted to go to my parents with toddler for night until he calmed down but this enraged him further so I took it back. He accused me if wanting to call the police, I said I wouldn't. He wasn't listening. I'm sure I was pretty emotional too. I tried to give him some space but was anxious for our child. Eventually I was able to pick up our son. Husband cornered me in our bedroom and wouldn't let me out. I realise I did this to him earlier but what was really frightening was that I was holding our toddler. Husband kept shouting and swearing at me, he's a foot taller so he was leaning over me, he was mocking everything I tried to say in my defence. By this stage, I was just begging him to let me and toddler go. He wouldn't. I held up my hand, open palm, in what I thought was a defensive gesture to get him away from me and he slapped it away. By this stage i no longer recognised the man in front of me. I considered, quite seriously, that he was having some kind if psychotic break. His kids were outside the bedroom door asking for him. He ignored them, I begged him to go to them. I told him that if he wouldn't let me and toddler leave safely, I would call the police because I was frightened of him. Finally he went out to his kids. I ran into another room and called the police. I didn't want to report him pushing me, I just wanted to be able to safely leave with our toddler for the night.

When the police came their sole focus was on the pushing incident. I tried to explain that I felt I had provoked that and I didn't want to report it. But the law says they have to, whether I agreed or not. They told me they were taking husband to the station to have an AVO (restraining order) written against him. This would be of a minimum level and he would be able to return to the house. Ironically, they wouldn't let me leave with our toddler. I was told that his dad has rights, despite his frightening behaviour, and I couldn't take him, not even 15 min away for the night. The police told me to leave if I wanted to, that I should go to avoid further incident. But there was no way I was leaving my toddler so I stayed. I've since been given legal advice that I could lodge a formal complaint against the officer in question. Under the circumstances, I should have been allowed to take toddler and go for the night.

Unbeknown to me, my husband drained our mutual bank account (using mobile app to transfer to his business account) later that evening. I only realised the next day. He told me he did it to put aside for our mortgage payment but I knew that was a lie which he has since admitted to. He did it to prevent me doing it/screw me over because he was angry. He says he is going to transfer it to mortgage account now.

After husband returned from police station things were very restrained. I apologised for my part, he said "I'm sorry too". I said i didn't want the AVO nor for our marriage to end. He said he didn't want that either. The week since has been an emotional roller coaster. Husband is defensive and has locked up all his devices (we've always known each other's passwords). We haven't argued since though there have been some tense moments. He did say he was no longer going to financially support my hospitalisation for the birth of our baby but since took it back. This has caused me a lot of anxiety. I also have no access to money although I don't think this will be ongoing. I just don't know. I was going to see a lawyer, mostly because of the money, but he hot upset, asking if that meant it was "game on" and our marriage was over. So, I didn't go. I've been very open with him, tried to be as honest as humanly possible but feel like he is still hiding things from me. We did gave a positive counselling session but didn't get very far. Not as far as the pushing incident or police. We are going back but not for another 1.5 weeks. We've been communicating a lot by email as a way to discuss the issue but avoid heated confrontation. I've apologised multiple times fir all I did to escalate the situation, especially the cornering. Husband has apologised to but almost always refers back to my behaviour to mitigate his own.

I love my husband very much and believe he loves me. I spend my days alternating between being hopeful and crying. I struggle to eat and sleep. I have to go to court next week about the AVO. Is like it removed but have been told this is unlikely. I'm not sure whether husband plans to attend, whether he will contest it or accept it without admissions. Since the terms only require him not to intimidate, threaten, harass, molest etc me and it allows us to go living as a couple, it won't interfere in our daily lives. But husband thinks, and I understand, that it gives me a power I could use maliciously to have him arrested.

Sorry for the length.

Tl;Dr husband and I have out of character fight which becomes physical and the law is involved. We love each other and want to save it. Is there any hope?