Relieving my mind from my ex

TL;DR Okay I just want to rant about my stupid asshole of an ex. Let's call him Max.

Here's a little history behind our relationship. I am a 19 year old female and he's a 21 year old male. Me and Max were dating for almost 2 years. During those 2 years we broke up 3 times (including the recent break up, I broke up with him on Monday) for about 2 weeks or less each time. Well each time we broke up, it took less time for him to come running back to me. Each time he did my stupid ass would take him back.

December 26th he broke up with me and I was just miserable. He completely ruined my holidays and who wants to be single around the holidays?! I told myself I was completely DONE with him and never want to hear from him again. I was having a party for New Years, he knew about it and he was invited before the break up and the day he broke up with me he told me he wouldn't be coming. So the day of the party comes, I look hot as hell and so do all of my friends so we decide to take pics of all the fun were having and post them on our social media. Secretly in the back of my mind I was hoping he would see them and see how much fun I was having and he did.

So I ended up having a 3 day New Years party, and on January 2nd he calls me, drunk out of his mind saying how much he loves me and how much he fucked up blah blah blah and non stop texting me. At a point a just put my phone away and went downstairs to enjoy the party and my guests. January 3rd, he texts me during the day that we should go to church together tomorrow. At this point I'm completely sober and I read our texts from the night before and I didn't even realize how mean I was to him. I felt a little bit of sympathy for him so I apologized for being so rude and eventually the conversation ended at me saying he can come over because he desperately wanted to talk to me. So he comes over, and the second I open the door for him he's literally bawling his eyes out to me saying everything will be different and that he was miserable without me, can't sleep or eat and all he does is think about me, promises we will get married this year, and so much more. So we figure things out and I decide to give him another chance because what he was saying sounded promising (I wish now that I never took him back).

I did EVERYTHING to make him happy, 90% of the time I made sure he was always happy before I was. I brought him lunch to work everyday, did his laundry, cleaned after him, cooked him dinner every night, helped him with anything he needed, made sure I was always available to be there for him with whatever he needed. Pretty much we were married, we were glued to the hip. He was my best friend and we did everything together.

But I never felt like he appreciated me for everything I did for him. He never complimented me, and I was never his first priority. I remember one time he got wasted and called me, telling me I need to comeover right now and he doesn't feel well (we live less than 10 minutes away from eachother). I was already sleeping but I got up and drove to his house. I found him in the bathtub covered in puke. I washed him up, brought him clean clothes to wear, made sure he was feeling better and tucked him into bed in the guest bedroom. I went into his room and.... throw up EVERYWHERE. I was up till 2 am, cleaning HIS carpet, HIS clothes, HIS bathroom, HIS bed. I also woke up the next morning at 5 am to call into work for HIM as his ass was sleeping.

He was just so ungrateful to me, and it makes me feel horrible about myself because I consider myself a great girlfriend. When I broke up with him, he acted like he didn't give 2 shits and the next day started following his ex's on social media. I really thought he was the one. He were planning on getting married and moving in together soon and buying our first home. I'm trying to slowly pick myself up, I have done NC (no contact) since the day we broke up and I feel much better, but the past 2 days I've been missing him.

Okay, rant over. I feel like I really got everything off my chest. Thank you for reading!