Day 1. All time low.

Well today is day one. I officially lost my job today after essentially spending most of my savings on a car this week that I can no longer afford to get my license for to drive. I have enough money to last me a week or two but have payments on things to make that I have no idea how I'm going to come up with. I'm from a small town so everyone will probably know I lost my job and there is not a lot of job opportunities here. I'm hoping I can just find something, even if it has to be mcdonalds. I told my SO and I know this could be a deal breaker for her but at the moment she did not say a lot about it, and was lightly supportive. That could change when we get to actually see each other again. She has a full plate right now. She knows I have an issue but she does not know the severity of it. The last we hung out I was drunk because I was trying to numb myself to the thought about maybe losing my job. I would go in drunk, not show up, so I'm sure they will not be a good reference for my next job. I don't know what to do but even though I was really tempted at the store a min ago to grab a bottle and drown my thoughts I didn't. Part of the motivation that helped to walk away is that I need every dime I have while I try and find work and stay afloat without being homeless, again. It's now or never and I plan on trying AA on sat.