[21/F] I don't know if my [28/M] boyfriend is actually being verbally abusive or just joking?

My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost two years (we moved in together nearly right after starting dating.) He makes "jokes" that tend to really hurt my feelings. For example, I told him that I wouldn't stop drinking soda even if I kept getting sick and he said that he didn't think I would make a good wife or mother because of it. There are numerous examples of this. I am not innocent in these things. I asked him once if he would rather have me at my weight (120 lbs) with my same size boobs or 10 lbs lighter and smaller boobs. You can guess which he said.

Previously, when he would get mad at me, he would flick me or squeeze my legs to the point he was leaving bruises on my thighs. I threatened to leave because I was getting really scared of him at that point. He tells me that he just plays too rough. I don't know what to believe.

He repeatedly tells me that I am not scared of him because I wouldn't annoy him as much as I do if I was. I am actually scared to move out because of what he might do to me or himself. He has insinuated when I tried to break up once that he might kill himself.

Am I overreacting with this or is he doing it on purpose and lying about joking/rough playing??