Xanax is my second love

So about a year and a half ago I usto be a major pothead, sold and was known for having the best quality in my town, long story short I moved into my grandparents house and the deal was either stop smoking, or get turned over to DCF. I quit smoking for a few months, got to a new school, met the type of people I usto hang out with and I started smoking again a little bit. My grandfather kinda caught on and gave me a break, my only 1 chance to completely quit untill I move out. I tried xanax the other day, fuck im in love. Their is a long line of addiction to drugs and alcohol in my family, but I made a deal with myself, no more than 2 bars a week. I've had my two this week one the first time, then another the day after. I feel like i havent fully experienced it due to the fact that im just popping it and laying in bed and knocking out. What should i do to make sure i can control myself. I have ADHD and my family thinks i have Anxiety, i have an appointment soon to get possibly prescribed to something. Thank you guys in advance.