29 Days Ago I had a Life

29 days ago, I got some terrible intrusive thoughts into my head. Sexual things, ya know, and its like a disease that spreads, because whenever I seem someone I DON'T want to have sex with (for whatever reason: incest, old, a younger child [I'm in highschool], another male), I start thinking about sex with that person. So, about every 7 minutes, for the past 29 days, I have thoughts about how fucked up I am.

It actually won't get out of my head. A month ago, an eternity, I felt like I had a future, aspirations, I was excited about a school trip. Now, nothing feels like it has a point. I feel like I don't want to continue living like this, but REALLY don't want to kill myself or anything. There is no solution.

I've had OCD crisises before, but mostly existential stuff. However, this is personal and makes me feel bad about myself, which feels even worse. I just want it to stop. A month is too long of my life to lose already, I don't need more sorrow.