Dear Sir Caffrey

You are the best purple I've had so far. Long story.

It all started with me on a new character, having just got to the Undead Settlement. I had my ember still from Vordt, and decided I'd summon two whites to help clear through the area, since I find some of the enemies there quite annoying.

But then, disaster, I was invaded by red phantom 'massive scumbag' (didn't catch his name, we'll refer to him as 'Prick' from here on out.)

Prick waits and hides below the corpse hanging over the balcony of the first house that has an item on it, hoping for new players to attack the corpse, and drop down for the item...

I quickly fell for it, in my lust for items. Prick then immediately tried to backstab me, and when that failed because I rolled, there was no hesitation before he starting spamming soul arrows and chucking all his 30+ throwing knives.

"I'm dead!", I thought to myself, but I managed to dodge half his crap, using all my Estus. I made it back inside the house with 50hp left. My white phantoms hastily came outside to try and fight him, but Prick thought he'd be clever, and decided to stand in the middle of the swarm of mobs around the fire so we couldn't get to him safely. From there he spammed his sorceries and consumables and killed, with the help of the mobs, my two white phantoms whilst I promptly shat my pants.

I remembered seeing a purple sign back at the bonfire, and wondered if I could get lucky... So I went back, and there it was, the summon sign for Mad Phantom Sir. Caffrey! I summoned you, and I saw you run down towards me from by the first bonfire, and at this point I thought you would just kill me whilst I did my Wave gesture to you and get your item quickly, and be gone. I wouldn't have blamed you!

I then sprinted away knowing you'd follow me, and I went back to the balcony of the first house, and pointed towards Prick, still smugly stood in the middle of all the mobs, untouchable, or so I thought.

You decided, after being stood right next to me on 50 health - the easy option right there to kill me and be done, to take the duel with the odds stacked entirely against you, 1 versus Prick and his army of 10 mobs.

It was an intense fight, back and forth, you killed half the mobs but Prick was not giving anything up, you even dropped to 10% health at one point... So I sprinted back to the bonfire, and got myself a Sunbro. Sunbro healed me with his miracles, and I also led him to the balcony, but Prick was nowhere to be seen. He had run away and hidden again, waiting for his next unfair opportunity. So Sunbro started attacking you, but I gestured and gestured and ran between you both, and he finally understood - Prick was the real enemy here.

We went on, all 3 of us clearing out the area, and right before the next bonfire we have our second encounter with Prick - he is in one of the houses trying to ambush us! But you were having none of that. You went on ahead, me and Sunbro still killing the mobs.

You took his ambush, and shoved it so far up his arse he died of internal bleeding. You didn't even let him get in a single attack. In that moment I hope he reflected on his actions, and learned that if he wants to invade, he needs to git gud rather than pray on newbros. Your job is done I thought, we're all winners! But no. You didn't get to leave and get your item, you were still here in the game with us!

I was confused, worried, morally stuck in what decision to take - are you going to kill me now? I would've let you, too. I would have turned my back to you and let you get your Vertebrae. Even Sunbro didn't know what to do! And you pointed the way and led on, slaying everything left right and center. You took me and Sunbro all the way to the boss room, and you gave up your item and let me and Sunbro go in to the boss fight! I already liked you, but this is when I fell in love with you. Fulfilled with your amazing battle spanning over about half an hour, you let me and Sunbro go on and kill the bo-...

FUCK.

TL;DR: Dark Souls. I love this game. Also Purples have introduced some of the most interesting PvP encounters I've ever had in the souls series.