On and off-Muslim again, it's bugging me. What to do? I'm in a confused state right now.

Every now and then, my heart and my head face vicious ideological battles: My heart tells me to stay Muslim, my head tells me to leave Islam.

I have left Islam a few times since the last few years but ended up coming back. Right now, I'm on the verge of leaving Islam once again. It's been a frustrating cycle, as if I have a major identity crisis in my mid-20s.

Why do I return to Islam? It seems that whenever I leave Islam, horrible things happen to me. Whenever I pray, it seems that good things happen to me. Even for the slightest positive stuff that happens to me, I become grateful to Allah. I've been a "consistent" Muslim for about a year and a half. But, with my very Islamic name, my looks, my family and my upbringing, I feel like I have to be Muslim forever. Even in my ex-Muslim phase, people still looked at me as a Muslim due to those reasons. I was an open ex-Muslim to a few of my friends (who were obviously non-Muslims) and they still thought I was a Muslim.

My head feels the same way as you guys. At times, I find that Islam is illogical, immoral and incompatible with the 21st century, even if I'm emotionally attached to it.

Anybody else went through something similar? How did you guys react to it?