I F**Ked Up and relapsed after ten days free- I feel like such a failure.

I blew it.... I stopped at the porno store on my way home from work and git high on poppers in a booth and jerked off to porn.... ten days shot to shit.

I guess I had to go through this to see how it feels so I will not do it again. I recognize the brain fog and the exhaustion right away.

I really hate myself right now. I feel like a total jerk off.... pardon the irony. To have a decent life I have to motivate myself even further. This is going to be a bit harder than I thought it would.