i told a friend about my suicidal thoughts

she told me that i could always talk to her if i ever needed to and that she didnt want to lose me. i appreciated that she was there for me and comforted me. i know she cares about me, and thats one of the reasons i havent done anything. she made me promise her that i wouldnt try anything and i agreed. i kind of regret that promise now. i dont want to break it, but everything is just going so wrong.

i can barely come up with the energy to get out of bed on some days. im stressed and unmotivated and constantly feel worthless and ugly and stupid. sometimes i feel like she and everyone else would get over it pretty quickly if i actually did kill myself.

i dont even know where im gong with this, i just needed to vent, i guess. thanks for reading.