30 days...

I am thankful for my wake up call the longest I was sober in the past 10 years was 86 days.

It has been a roller coaster of emotions these past few weeks. Since I can't make it to a meeting physically being in the wilderness right now and do have access to the Internet be it a very slow connection. I have been reading a ton and one book that stuck some resemblance was http://www.amazon.com/Blackout-Remembering-Things-Drank-Forget/dp/1455554596

In her book she talks about moving to different places and the alcohol was always there. Her Europe trip fill with booze (yep, two check marks on that one). And she was the same age when she stopped drinking as me right now.

I am doing a lot of introspection, especially since I drank my way through Europe at the end of last year landing a career in the Netherlands. I can't mess it up. I will drink myself to death.

I could work for an organization for almost two years before I snapped and said the hell with the armpit of SoCal love my work but hate that area and bought a one way ticket to London. All the time I worked at that org drinking when they didn't drink, smoke, or drink caffeine seriously and where all vegan and vegetarian. No meat or caffeinated drinks or pepper.

Not working for them, not anyone could convince me I needed to stop but thirty days ago three people told me the same thing. All the things lined up for me. I am more focused with work doing it virtually until I can get my work visa and starting to write a non fiction book on what I do for a living. Could I do this drunk? Sure. You bet. I was and am a functioning alcoholic with no shut off mechanism.

Today I decided to work a little and then I got immersed in that book on writing by Stephen King and he talks about his alcohol and drug addiction even the most talented writers and creative thinkers have struggled. But for me it's taking it day by day and I have gone down the rabbit hole for way too long.

Thank you for letting me share and I am thankful for Skype because I found a meeting with a bunch of people that live in Europe working on their sobriety as well. Good night and tomorrow is another day, and yeah I am getting up before the sun rather than going to bed right before the sun is coming up.