I hate Dumbass now (a co-worker rant)

Dumbass was hired in February. He is incompetent, lazy, and annoys me. Today, he made me hate him. We work in IT as student workers. Our job is not difficult, its basic tech support, password resets, and answering phones. He fails on all these fronts. So here are some stories about Dumbass, the last one will be why I hate him.

• First things you do when you show up, you Skype in, you get a radio and turn it on, and you log in to the computers if you are in the student computer room (~30 computers). He doesn't Skype in (our version of clocking in and out), he never grabs a radio (even to this day), and forgets his password almost everyday. I have reset his password at least 3 times on my own and I know his password now because he asked me to enter it for him... Its a word and his birth year... its a terrible password
• We have 3 separate logins. It is slightly confusing, but after the first couple weeks, you should have it down, especially if all you are doing is sitting in the computer room.
• When logging into the password reset system, he locked himself out multiple times. He asked me to reset it. I can't, only one person on campus has the permissions to do so. He apparently didn't believe me and asked one of my male co-workers to do it while I am sitting right fucking there. My co-worker told him the same thing than gave me a weird look.
• After over a month, he still can't log in properly. He needs to get in Skype, the password reset system, email, and then (possibly most importantly) get the phone attached to the computer on and active. He can't do any of it. I have been trying to train him for weeks and have essentially given up. So our most patient student tech takes on the task. I have never seen this guy get flustered or be anything other calm (exception being when I snapped at him for stealing my candy, which he has sincerely apologized for). Patient tech goes through the steps, makes Dumbass write everything down, including his passwords, and makes it fool proof for our most basic of requirements. They go take care of a quick job, come back, and Patient tech has him go through the steps again. Dumbass fails almost immediately with the written steps in front of him. Patient Tech gets the system up and running and walks out of the room. I catch him in the hallway drinking an energy drink, something I have never seen him do. It was very reminiscent of someone drinking to make it through the day.
• Dumbass makes personal calls on the phones all the time at work.
• Dumbass doesn't have a set schedule because no one knows when he will show up, disappear, or come back. Not even the managers.
• Students are not allowed to work more than 20 hours a week. Dumbass worked almost 30 hours and didn't see an issue with it.
• Even the manager realizes he is a Dumbass.
• Today, Dumbass decided it was in his right to poke my belly while asking how the baby is doing. I yelled at him. I ripped into him. I told him it is never ok to touch someone without permission. That touching my stomach is like me touching his privates. My stomach is very personal area. Before he was fucking annoying. Now I fucking hate him.