I [20/M], out of confusion, blocked my best friend [18/F] of three years when I got into my current relationship. I lost her and I'm heartbroken.

Four years ago, I met a girl whom I started dating and developing a very strong relationship with. I had developed the most obsessive crush on her, but never managed to break the barrier of the friendzone, despite the many chances that I had to do it.

We became best friends, and I started falling in love with her. With time, our relationship became open to cuddling, hand-holding, dating, and many types of contact that are common between a boy and his girlfriend, but we weren't quite that. She had given me a lot of her trust, but eventually she started mistreating me, so I decided to distance myself from her. When she noticed the distance, she talked to me and apologized, and said that she wanted to marry me in a friendly setting. That day, she gave me the closest thing there is to a girlfriend experience, the most extreme cuddling session ever but out of my fear of kissing her it didn't actually turn into a relationship that day. Days later, she introduced me to her boyfriend, and my world collapsed for the following months. She still tried to keep our friendship as it was, and we kept going out, but I couldn't help but cry after those dates knowing that she was with another guy, so I tried, to no avail, to find more chances to get out of the friendzone, and those tries only ended in the weakening of our relationship through arguing. The thing we said the most was “We should go out again, to fix our friendship.”

When I got into a relationship with my current girlfriend, we had one last date that made our friendship feel very conditioned. I thought about letting her go in the most ethical way possible, but I had then found out, about the time she had sex with a guy that she had told me she didn’t like, so I blocked her from my social networks once and for all. She sent me an email asking me why I had done that and telling me that she wanted to see me. I replied to her through a letter, telling her that I liked her and saying my last goodbye because I couldn't help loving her that much, and it led to our last argument. We don’t talk anymore.

I know my choice was to let her go, and I firmly stand by it; but in a way, I miss her, and I’m confused whether it was the right choice or not.