coming out of depression/shame

It's strange to be coming out of a depression/shame. In that state of depression, it's like you know something is off with the world, but you can't tell what it is. You are always slightly bored and anxious, but you can't figure out how to get rid of it. Everything people say feels like it's an insult to you.

Objects lose their shape and everything melds into one image and flat. You can't feel 'hot' or 'cold' anymore. Everything is lukewarm. Everything you say feels like it's annoying. You feel guilty for existing and not helping others. Words lose their meaning, but you can't tell that they have. You read things and think you understand, but you just have the feeling of understanding.

There is not structure to anything in your world. Everything is flat. Nothing is amazing or wonderful or great or soft or fun or beautiful. Everything in life feels cloying. Everything is just boring. People are always judging you for feeling upset or in a down mood and tell you you need self discipline, making you more guilty. And this happens hundreds of times. You wish you could just not exist, but you 'know' if you express that feeling, people would lambaste you for not being grateful and seeing how much you have. You never feel happy, or grateful, or relaxed. Ever.