Just relapsed on day 10 -- I need help

TL;DR: There's not really one. Basically I relapsed, and I'm trying to figure out the problems that need fixing to make NoFap easier and my life just better.

Hello everyone. I'm 16 (turning 17 at the end of this month), and I just relapsed on day 10 (which is a lot better than my past attempts). I've been jerking it for as long as I remember, and I've been watching internet porn since I was in 7th grade (I'm in 11th now). What did me in was simple -- I wasn't seeing the progress I wanted, and I just wanted to test things. I've gotten to a pretty bad point -- I can really only get off to cuckold fantasies or cuckold porn. Other stuff sometimes does it for me, most times it doesn't. And it's really hard for me to get a boner on thought alone (usually impossible).

Along with that, I'm having some emotional issues that are really screwing with me. I don't even know where to start. I guess part of it is that I don't really ... know myself(?) That's not the best way to put it; I have hobbies and aspirations and all that, but I don't really know what makes me me (if that makes sense). Like most of my behavior/opinions are dependent on the people around me, except for a very few times of clarity. I don't know, it seems as though everyone has got their personalities (who they are) figured out, and I'm just kind of going along. Furthermore, I've been struggling with anxiety (which has gotten somewhat better recently) and mild depression (which has gotten somewhat worse) since last October-ish. Honestly, I think I've always had those tendencies, but I've always had something to look forward to that would make it better (aka I'll feel better once I have a gf, once I get buff, etc, etc). Now I don't have any of those things, and I don't know what to do next.

Also, I'm having some social issues. Most people would say that I have a lot of friends, that everyone likes me, etc. And that's true, for the most part. I always have people I can hang out with, one girl says I'm her best guy friend and one dude says I'm one of his 3 closest friends. Yet I feel so .... disconnected? That's not exactly the right word -- like if anything happened to them I'd be crushed (I think -- I have problems with doubting myself, too), but at the same time I feel like I'm lying to them or putting up an act or something by being their friend. That's not exactly what I'm getting at, but idk, all my friendships kind of seem .... forced(?) No one disrespects me or is mean or anything, but for some reason I can't feel deeply connected to or safe with another person. I think safe is probably the better word. I don't know, I just feel kind of different. And I don't mean that in a teenage, angsty way. It's just I feel that all the social stuff that seems to come easy to people (just chatting in groups, keeping conversations going) just isn't there for me. Yet at the same time, I can have hours-long conversations with my good friends. So I don't really know. Warped self-image? Low self-esteem?

On top of this, I have a lot of anxiety surrounding relationships. I've never had a serious one (although I can get girls' numbers pretty easy and all that -- a girl actually asked me for my number tonight). I'm pretty attractive (girls have straight up told me, and my coping mechanism for all this anxiety is exercise so I've gotten pretty big), and I'm pretty funny, and girls tell me all the time that I'm sweet. But for some reason, I just have this deep seated feeling that relationships aren't for me. Like whenever I think about it, it's always like a pipe dream -- never something that could actually happen. Furthermore, I have a lot of anxiety that I may have PIED; I get morning woods on NoFap, but I can't really get it up to fantasy or touch alone, although with cuckold porn it's absolutely no problem. Furthermore, I've also had a lot of doubt/fear that I could be gay. I definitely had some gay urges in middle school (both romantic and sexual), but at the same time every time I get super infatuated it's with a girl, and anything that's lovey-dovey touching with a girl (not like making out at a party, but just slow dancing real close) gets me hard. So I don't really know where I stand. I'd like to marry a woman someday, but what if I'm gay?

So yeah, that's my super long story. There's more problems I have, but these are the main ones that I feel are holding them back. Does NoFap seem like it'd be a viable/useful thing to keep doing? I'd love to have an accountability partner/talking partner to keep in touch with, so if you're interested, feel free to PM me. I seem to have a pretty perfect life -- I'm well-liked, I'm attractive, I'm set up for a great scholarship to a great school, my grades are good, I'm super talented in music. But in reality, I'm pretty unhappy. I just want to have a life where I can be in a relationship and feel secure and connected to the person, and have friendships that feel genuine and safe. I want to wake up without fearing the day ahead. I'm just scared I'll never get there.