Something sort of scary (probably not really) happened last night and I can't sleep and it's driving me crazy.

Quick notes: 20yrs/Fem/Diagnosed last year (anxiety) was on temp meds (a few weeks) for a breakdown never saw a therapist or investigated further.

Last night I went to bed around 10PM after gaming with some buddies online, passed out like a rock because I was so tired. Around 2AM my (very loud and long) doorbell goes off. At 2AM. Naturally I freak out to the point of almost crying I'm so scared, my mom looks out the window or something and goes back to bed telling me it's nothing, I'm absolutely NUTS and cannot calm down, even more scared because she (obviously) didn't actually LOOK outside. Nobody still knows wtf that was.

So after that, I spend about 6 hours watching Netflix and the first 2 hours trying not to throw up, scenarios of someone busting in and murdering my family Criminal Minds style kept replaying over and over again if I didn't pretend I was thoroughly invested in Dragon's Den (I am now a genius businesswoman). I didn't end up being able to sleep (seriously every time I even contemplated shutting my laptop I got the largest urge to vomit and hyperventilate) and ended up going to work a total zombie.

I called my doctor (GP) before work and arranged an appointment to ask for a psych referral because I'm fucking tired of this. Tbqh I tried my best to pretend I didn't even have anxiety after my breakdown but it never went away and it's been flaring up so much recently and this morning was just the last straw. Hell, it's 7:30PM, bright and sunny out, someone rang the doorbell for my brother and my entire body sank and my eyes teared up. I'm so flipping exhausted but I'm so terrified to sleep at the same time. I can't even get into my doc until May, psych appointment might not be for weeks after that.

Just a rant I guess, I'm so scared (there are literally 4 other people in my house and we live in a suburb sort of, not a fancy rich house someone would want to break into) for no goddamn reason. I sat in bed with a knife and my cell phone incase anything happened (In fact that is how I am right now). Idk what to do but I really want to sleep. I have to work tomorrow again and I just can't feel okay. If anyone has any tips for this it would be really really appreciated because I'm fucking loosing it right now.

(edit: throwaway for no particular reason other than i dont actually have an account)