Feeling Directionless with velleity

Hello, Reddit, I'm 19 and this is my last year of high school. Since the beginning of September, Our teachers instructed us to search up for colleges But I was very unsure where to go. But I wasn't sure what college/university. My grades were okay I usually got A's & B's. But the majority I just looked up answers online and my math skills are not the best.

I spend the majority my adolescent years playing games, going on Youtube and Reddit. I was basically an introvert I didn't go out much.I never went out with anybody. I feel that I missed a lot of potentials. I could have joined a sport or something to get a scholarship but choose not to (I'm not the best of shape, I'm essentially a walking twig.) I was really unsure if I wanted to go to college. I would go home right after work and I would try to search for colleges and be productive but I usually give up and procrastinate the rest of the day. By the end of December, I hit a deep depression. I never felt so lost in life. It got worse when my neighbor who I was attracted to was getting married. I felt like complete shit, I didn’t feel like walking home or to work I just wanted to fall in the grass and die. It got so bad to the point when I was working Christmas day I became so angry and filled with regret that I stormed out the store and went home with a trail of tears. I called my boss about the situation. He was the only person that I told about my situation. I lost all my drive and motivation to do anything. The college askreddit threads threw me off to go to college all of them said they came out with severe debt and with a degree and they either find jobs that do not pertain to their studies or they are not employed. I quit my job in the middle of March to catch up but I ended up doing nothing. Most of the schools that I wanted to go the application deadlines are past due including scholarship opportunities, I feel left out. Right now, I haven't applied to any colleges and there's only one college I'm doing my portfolio for but I have no drive . I feel so directionless on what to do.
I'm tired of my hometown residing in Jersey there's no opportunity here and I'm tired of this life. I feel like the universe is setting me up for failure. I wanted to make video games, produce films, do animation and make music .I bought art supplies, a drawing tablet. An electric piano and a synthesizer drum pad and a bunch of book on how to draw and what not.
But I don’t feel like doing anything. I would get hyped for a day then it would just dissolve back to my old routine. What is wrong with me. Is it anxiety and depression? Am I addicted to the internet because of the instant gratification or am just plain lazy?