Rich White Trash

--Rich White Trash--


I am trying not to hate my life,
My mom came back to Texas
From China
My dad just bought a Lexus

They're divorced,
They get drunk together to drown the flame that used to ignite fights,
At least it was a sign of life,
But now they're shallow glares gives me stage IV spiritual cancer
And luxury rehab isn't the easy answer.

Red pill, blue pill, magic pill,
Fuck.
Pills.

Forlorn morning boy be your own toy,
Riding the model highway coy and curious at 3:45 am
To the ghettotown traphouse with the shattered windows
I'm too twisted and broken for the straight marble palace,
Hiding in the shattered tears
Tripping on my fears 
From 3-meO-PCP we somehow got for free,
At least you can afford meds for HIV
For this rich dope fiend

Jewels in the eyes
Reflect insightful lies
From inside your son's eternal hexagon sun-within,
Hexed by Cassandra's crystal lattice
Passed out under the gutter under your birthright palace.

She tastes so sweet and her sappy wit burns like bleach.
You thought you were living your dreams
Without sense to know you were only awake when she held you 
In her sleep and when you were done holding her in MDMAmazing
Illusions, she pulled a poppy seed from her hair
She would find you there
I carved the sea into a boat
Setting afloat to meet the queen in the city
where junk floats into skyscrapers,
The tips touching the eternal crimson sun.

Except the king sailed with you, waiting for someone.
It isn't you.

Meth is my king and heroin is my queen and this neo-american  dynasty is dying
While my memories are crying to me in my methmare nightmare dreamsleep:
"Love is just a dimebag away,
The sickness is everywhere, but you don't have to feel it today."

I nod to the dope gods in a softlit basement
With pillow walls,
Empty except for me in the corner hugging a fluorescent lightbulb,
Ghostly glowing sheen
With a needle and a spoon full of shards and tar,
Melted into an eternal moment's dream
Between death and the afterlife 

I wake up to a postmodern impression of dusty motel-curtained sunlight,
Each day a little bleaker 
Even though I'm getting a little cleaner,
Sisyphus sighs, "get up bitch. Eternity is now,"
wow it's true I guess eternity is all I have now
Without the temporal feeling of needing,

I go about the day pissed off and blessed, 
Human insincerity triggers me to use to repress
the faces from the parents and the voices of the screen,
Lou Reed said a man cannot be free
In the big city,

Walking into the woods I see an owl, again at dawn
On a branch directly above
Leaning down stoically fixated on
My countenance and I fixed onto his
Black hole eyes embodying this irony
Of calmness and constant surprise.
For a moment we were friends,
Then silently he flies.

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