Just passed my Trig final. Dodged disaster by 2%.

Still have another final tomorrow, but this was the big one. For various nonsensical reasons, I needed this, and only this, particular class to fill out my math credits for my major. It was all online, especially problematic since I have a bad history with online courses. Then again, I have (some) bad history with all kinds of classes, so it was a challenge no matter how I went about it. Point is, it's been a hard road just getting here, never mind this final hurdle.

Given the online format, it was actually surprisingly simple to keep up on homework. I just had to focus on my computer for hours on end and double check my work - as close to child's play as I've ever got since high school. But homework, alas, does not make up the majority of the grade, and there's a world of difference between solving equations in the comfortable timing of a farm to the harried scramble of a timed test in an alien testing center. I completely missed one test and called in a miracle to get a makeup in - one which just about cancelled out all of the work I'd done thus far.

This final was the big tipping point. Success or failure would determine whether I had wasted another four months of my life or if things would keep rolling forward - slowly, painfully, but undeniably forward. I'm taking the long way around in school - living with my parents, paying one semester at a time, doing everything I can to avoid crushing loans. And before this semester, I didn't qualify for financial aid (not taking enough classes, sub-par GPA, etc.), so everything was out of pocket. $500+, a crucial GPA bump, and proof to my parents and moreover to myself that I can do this. I can make this work.

And I did.

61.83% on the Final, and 81.84% on my overall grade. One benefit of an online Math course is that most grading is instantaneous. I'll admit, I was hoping for more, and I'm still wondering how this B- will hold up when my offline work gets added in, but I'm not gonna fail. If nothing else, I got the credit, and I'm not as helpless with Trigonometry as when I started.

God, I'm not even really happy about this. Well, I am, but that's more of an accident after the fact. Walking out of the testing center, even now, an hour later, I feel... empty. Not like I lost anything, but like a balloon that's suddenly been filled, and everything's so much bigger and lighter than it was before. I'm a little light-headed to be honest. Despite my best efforts to stay cool, I guess a lot of low-level stress got me wound up, and suddenly I'm spun out. Thank god tomorrow's just an Art History final, and thank my Dad for his advice to pare down this semester to just two classes. But wow. It feels like forever since I had a real victory; not just meeting expectations but beating the odds.

Thanks for reading. Whatever you're doing, do the best you can, and work hard. Sooner or later it pays off.