feelin yella in philadelphia - or is it blue- lost in peru?

A little bit of background. This is my first post. This is my first time even attempting to post poetry on a place that is active. I have a poems-and-quotes account called "magikarp" that I've put "hi reddit" in the profile bio as verification so nobody thinks I'm plagiarizing. I've written poetry since I was young. My styles have changed constantly and I no longer even consider it poetry - it's just some sort of prose vomit. Anyhow, that all being said....I'd like to get better so I'm going to try and become active here. Poetry is my muse or (one of them) and well...here goes...Again, I'd like to reititerate I'm very unconventional. But please don't stop that from hard hitting critiques. I want to improve. I want to be able to look at my pieces and say with confidence to someone else "I write poems" rather than skirt around the subject and say "I've squabbled with writing some stuff"

 Id like to drink myself dead
but that's typically quite a difference
from a bullet straight to the head
but uncle sam, unfortunately he doesn't want me
less my trigger finger itchy for some nazi zombies

if i leave a legacy of suicide behind
in a place where no one would find
did i have a legacy at all
did the tree in the forest fall
the one that no one was there to hear
cheers, i raise this glass to another beer
the tenth of the night, the 1000th of the year

my liver is quite the damn trooper
functions whilst the mind remains in stupor
its a work of art, something of a masterpiece
like a doctor, prolonging the rest of the to-be-deceased
desperately preventing the willing from peaceful release

and listen, I'm sorry if I'm bitter
or sour; or at least quite the tart i seem to be
although, if i'm frank -
my heart capsized, than straight sank
when phones claimed they were as smart as me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4j7qsj/confession/d3528h6

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4j94hz/she_dances_like_a_gypsy_wild/d351v3h